A Glimpse of Hope

            For the past for days I have been a part of an experience of a lifetime!  I was blessed with the amazing opportunity to work as a team member on Search #162.  I mean amazing in every aspect of the word; electrifying, enlightening, powerful, holy, and pure.  I’m pretty sure that most all of you have absolutely no idea of what a search is.  As much as I wish that I could verbally explain to you the experience of a search, I just can’t.  But, one thing that is inevitable is that once you attend a search, you will never be the same again!

            I made my search last March at Saint Michaels Parish.  This was an absolutely beautiful experience for me.  I strengthened my faith, and made friends that I still share an incredible bond with today!  But, this year, I was given the opportunity to attend the same search, except this time I was working on team.  Going into the weekend, I didn’t know what to expect exactly.  I knew that it would not be the same as my first search because, unlike last year, this weekend was not about me and my faith.  No, instead it was about me helping others grow in their faith.

            At search, we are assigned to tables.  You eat, talk, pray, and bond with your table for the duration of the weekend.  Each table becomes their own little, perfect family.    My table this weekend consisted of five beautiful ladies and one handsome man!  We, rightfully, dubbed ourselves the name “Blessed Among Women”!  Throughout the weekend, we had several chances to talk and share with each other the struggles, problems, and blessings that we each have in our life. 

On Saturday night, we were sharing our biggest concerns that we currently carry in our life.  When the boy in our group’s concern arose, we were all frozen in amazement.  Before I explain to you why, let me give you a bit of background on this guy.  He is eighteen years old and a freshman at Arizona State University.  He plays the saxophone in the marching band at ASU, and desires to eventually become an educator.  At first glance, he has it all together.    But, when he began to open up and share his life with us, we were stunned by what we heard.  For about a year now, he has been struggling with addiction; addiction to weed, cocaine, and worst of all, LSD. 

His so called “friends” in his life are simply encouragers of these destructive habits.  His life is slipping away from him, and he is so bound by addiction that he can’t find a way to rebuild his life.  He began skipping classes in order to feed his addiction, causing him to be kicked out of the school of journalism.  But, probably most surprising of all, he shared with us that he has been an atheist since the eighth grade.  I was speechless.  Here we are at a Catholic retreat where praising and worshipping of Jesus Christ is happening in every waking moment, and yet amidst us is a person who doubts the existence of God at all.  I questioned why he would have come if he doesn’t believe?  But, as I pondered what I had just been trusted with, I realized that this was by all means an act of God.  This guy needs help.  He is fed up with the life of drugs and addiction.  He so desperately desires to be freed of all his demons that he has in his life, and be led to the cross where Jesus saved us and set us free.

            As our little family prayed over him, we prayed that the Holy Spirit become present in his life.  We prayed that his eyes and heart be opened and willing to accept Jesus.  Well, Jesus said, “ask, and you shall receive.”

  At the end of the search weekend, the candidates are asked to stand up in front of their family and friends and present to them what they have learned and gained from the experience.  When it was his turn to speak, I was so proud of the words that spilled from his mouth.  He openly admitted to the room his series of addictions.  He committed to finding help and changing his life for the better.  But most importantly, he portrayed a glimpse of hope and faith in God.  Tears instantly began streaming down my cheeks.  In that moment, Jesus was present, not only in his life, but in the lives of all of us blessed enough to be in that room.  When he finished speaking, the audience rose to their feet as the feeling of love and happiness radiated from him.  Working search this weekend showed me just how powerful the love of God can be.  He alone can turn a doubter into a believer and an addict into a fighter.  Through this experience I have built up an arsenal of faith, love, and strength to help me through my difficult times.  It is important that in these times where we feel as if nothing will ever get better, that we search anyway!   

Love Always,

Kylie K.