A Glimpse of Hope

            For the past for days I have been a part of an experience of a lifetime!  I was blessed with the amazing opportunity to work as a team member on Search #162.  I mean amazing in every aspect of the word; electrifying, enlightening, powerful, holy, and pure.  I’m pretty sure that most all of you have absolutely no idea of what a search is.  As much as I wish that I could verbally explain to you the experience of a search, I just can’t.  But, one thing that is inevitable is that once you attend a search, you will never be the same again!

            I made my search last March at Saint Michaels Parish.  This was an absolutely beautiful experience for me.  I strengthened my faith, and made friends that I still share an incredible bond with today!  But, this year, I was given the opportunity to attend the same search, except this time I was working on team.  Going into the weekend, I didn’t know what to expect exactly.  I knew that it would not be the same as my first search because, unlike last year, this weekend was not about me and my faith.  No, instead it was about me helping others grow in their faith.

            At search, we are assigned to tables.  You eat, talk, pray, and bond with your table for the duration of the weekend.  Each table becomes their own little, perfect family.    My table this weekend consisted of five beautiful ladies and one handsome man!  We, rightfully, dubbed ourselves the name “Blessed Among Women”!  Throughout the weekend, we had several chances to talk and share with each other the struggles, problems, and blessings that we each have in our life. 

On Saturday night, we were sharing our biggest concerns that we currently carry in our life.  When the boy in our group’s concern arose, we were all frozen in amazement.  Before I explain to you why, let me give you a bit of background on this guy.  He is eighteen years old and a freshman at Arizona State University.  He plays the saxophone in the marching band at ASU, and desires to eventually become an educator.  At first glance, he has it all together.    But, when he began to open up and share his life with us, we were stunned by what we heard.  For about a year now, he has been struggling with addiction; addiction to weed, cocaine, and worst of all, LSD. 

His so called “friends” in his life are simply encouragers of these destructive habits.  His life is slipping away from him, and he is so bound by addiction that he can’t find a way to rebuild his life.  He began skipping classes in order to feed his addiction, causing him to be kicked out of the school of journalism.  But, probably most surprising of all, he shared with us that he has been an atheist since the eighth grade.  I was speechless.  Here we are at a Catholic retreat where praising and worshipping of Jesus Christ is happening in every waking moment, and yet amidst us is a person who doubts the existence of God at all.  I questioned why he would have come if he doesn’t believe?  But, as I pondered what I had just been trusted with, I realized that this was by all means an act of God.  This guy needs help.  He is fed up with the life of drugs and addiction.  He so desperately desires to be freed of all his demons that he has in his life, and be led to the cross where Jesus saved us and set us free.

            As our little family prayed over him, we prayed that the Holy Spirit become present in his life.  We prayed that his eyes and heart be opened and willing to accept Jesus.  Well, Jesus said, “ask, and you shall receive.”

  At the end of the search weekend, the candidates are asked to stand up in front of their family and friends and present to them what they have learned and gained from the experience.  When it was his turn to speak, I was so proud of the words that spilled from his mouth.  He openly admitted to the room his series of addictions.  He committed to finding help and changing his life for the better.  But most importantly, he portrayed a glimpse of hope and faith in God.  Tears instantly began streaming down my cheeks.  In that moment, Jesus was present, not only in his life, but in the lives of all of us blessed enough to be in that room.  When he finished speaking, the audience rose to their feet as the feeling of love and happiness radiated from him.  Working search this weekend showed me just how powerful the love of God can be.  He alone can turn a doubter into a believer and an addict into a fighter.  Through this experience I have built up an arsenal of faith, love, and strength to help me through my difficult times.  It is important that in these times where we feel as if nothing will ever get better, that we search anyway!   

Love Always,

Kylie K.

             

Cherish!

           Before I begin, I need to recognize that my life is extremely blessed.  I have never had to suffer through hunger, shivers, or loneliness.  I have always been provided with everything that I need and more, and for this I am extremely grateful!  And, most importantly, I have both a mother and a father as well as two brothers who care so much about me.  But, unfortunately, I think that I sometimes forget this.  I often take everything that I have in life for granted and do not always appreciate those in my life whose love for me is unconditional.  It is normally not until something occurs in your life that you essentially get a “wake up call” and come to the realization that nothing, and no one, should ever be taken for granted!

            Brothers, as we all know, can be a pain in the butt sometimes; especially little ones!  From my experience with little brothers, they like to follow you around and question every action you make.  They try to pull stupid, little pranks on you that pretty much just make you angry.  And they absolutely thrive on doing the complete opposite of what you tell them to do! This has always been hard for me.  I admit that I have not always been the nicest big sister.  My patience level with Kobi is most of the time very low!  Our relationship has always suffered because of this. Until a few weeks ago, I did not recognize just how blessed I am too have such an incredibly strong and perseverant little brother!     

              About a month or two ago, Kobi started to get sick.  Obviously, because it was the middle of winter, we just assumed that he had caught the flu bug that had been infecting so many this past winter season.  Throughout these two months, I watched my eleven year old brother grow progressively sicker and sicker.  The days of runny noses turned into heavy coughing.  The heavy coughing resulted in throwing up blood.  Eventually, Kobi’s poor little body was so weak and achy that he was overcome with agonizing pain upon standing up.  For almost a week straight, Kobi did nothing but lay in bed; because that is all his body would allow him to do.  The oftentimes annoyingly over-active kid that we were all used to seemed as if he had little life left in him anymore.  Kobi visited a series of doctors, all of whom gave a different “answer”.  Pneumonia and a torn esophagus were among the diagnoses at the first hospital visit.    

            We have always been told to trust the doctors, right?  Well, that’s exactly what my family and I did.  Kobi took the antibiotics prescribed to him, but his health was not improving even the slightest bit.  Two weeks ago, my mom decided that it was time he see the pediatrician in Flagstaff.  When they arrived, the doctor looked Kobi over and told my mom that they needed to take him to the Phoenix Children’s Hospital.   My dad rushed to Flagstaff and the three of them went to the hospital in Phoenix.  After days of blood work, biopsies, and tests Kobi was diagnosed with an extremely rare disease called Wegener’s disease.  This is an auto-immune disease that causes his blood vessels to inflame which then restricts blood flow to his lungs and kidneys.  If this disease is not treated properly and in a timely manner, then the potential of kidney failure is very high. 

            Blessedly, in Kobi’s case we were able to catch this disease in the early stage and he only has slight kidney damage.  He can be treated, but not cured.  This whole situation forced me to rethink all of the words that I uttered in annoyance.  I saw my baby brother at his weakest point.  I am forced to face the reality that his life will never be the same as it was because of this horrid disease.  I did take my brother for granted.  I now realize just how blessed and thankful I am to have someone who follows me around everywhere.  I will never again complain about having to pick Kobi up from practice, or the way that he smells from running around all day!  No, instead I will thank God for one more day to watch my little brother do what he loves!  It is unfortunate that it sometimes takes an extremely scary situation to make us realize what we have.  So don’t wait for the day when you are unsure if your loved one will be ok or not, cherish them anyway! 

Love Always,

Kylie K.